Passed down from the mountains, riding upon both lightning and thunder,
scorched in the same flame that crafted Wonderboy,
this be the Gospel of Viva.
Viva Los Auction Fantasy Baseball
Setting, Scorings, Ruminations and Commandments thereof.
Chapter 1: Settings
Yahoo!, because they rule and it's all free.
AL only, because the Cardinals Suck.
12 teams, because that’s the way the Founding Fathers did it.
Roto….see above.
Standard Auction Draft because it’s the bestest way to do it, and here in America we each get a chance to blow our own money on somebody stupid.
Free Agent Acquisition Bucks, $100 to blow, because if you want that guy who just got traded to the AL you have to pay for him, just like you had to pay for players in the draft.
162 games played per position, because that’s how many games are in a team’s season.
1250 innings pitched, quality AND quantity. With a reachable goal of each.
1 Catcher, because there’s only supposed to be 1 catcher on the field.
The same goes for First, Second, Third and Shortstop.
3 Outfielders, we’re not dividing them by area because this is FANTASY baseball, and if in my dreams I want to start a sloth in center that’s my business because it’s the AL and we don’t count defensive stats anyway.
3 starters, 2 relievers, 2 of either. No real rhyme or reason, but two of each seemed both sufficient and fair, however starters deserve a little more love because every team needs some Hosses.
5 Bench, because there’s depth, but still decisions to be made. And we should all have a chance to find salvation on the waiver wire.
3 DL spots, because people get hurt and you should be allowed to decide if the pony is worth putting out to pasture or cappin’ 'em like Old Yeller.
Moves and Trades, no limit, it’s a one and done league so don’t be afraid to grip it and rip it.
Trade review is done by league vote and there is a 2 day window to make your opinion anonymously known. At no time will I personally vote on a trade because I am both the commissioner and a team owner. I am confident that the democracy will keep things in line, however if I feel that a trade is being unfairly voted down I will intervene in a commissioner capacity and force the trade through. This is my right as commish, and I assure the masses that I am both awesome and fair.
To review, 2 days to vote, I don’t vote, if someone is being a douche with their vote I will override them and much like Judge Dredd, “I am the Law!”
The trade deadline is August 28th, that’s as late as the system will allow, so do what you can with it.
There is a Can’t Cut List and it is the one provided by Yahoo, there’s the freedom to drop a player and then there’s the chaos some dumbass can cause by being fickle with a fire sale of drops. We will henceforth refer to this as the Florida Marlins Corollary, though San Diego has challenged that crown in recent years.
The draft is Friday, February 25th at 10:15 p.m. Central Standard Time. This is because I don’t go out on Fridays on account of being old and refusing to pay cover at an event or full price at a movie. IF you are a returning owner and have concerns I will consider moving the draft time to accommodate as many of us being live (the goal is everyone) as possible. If you are a new owner I’m sorry but you’re just not a special or magical snowflake yet.
On that note, some owners will be new this year, because as always some don’t get invited back. Be at the draft, stay active, fight till your dying breath and from hell’s heart stab at the league leaders. This is how you get invited back, and suddenly your opinion will count a whole lot more in league affairs.
Chapter 2: Scoring
The Offense
Hits: Because that’s what batters do, and it should be remarked upon as such.
Home Runs: Because ideally that’s what we’d all do when we hit the ball. It’s really the most efficient use of a hit, and as such should be celebrated within the annals of our scoring system.
Runs Batted In: Is it arbitrary? Somewhat, but much more fair than Runs Scored. Furthermore, if there’s a guy on first a real man cracks the double to the gap that brings him around regardless. And while we can’t always help it that there’s no one on the sacks we can expect our batters to make the most out of any opportunity given.
Steals: Because speed kills and it’s the purest way to observe that fact. We don’t count getting caught because this is America and your past shouldn’t haunt you.
(OPS): Walks matter, doubles matter, triples matter, getting on base while driving the pitcher nuts and doing more than a slap single are admirable traits. This is how we honor them.
The Pitching
Wins: I debated long and hard regarding Quality Starts, but the truth is we draft “Winners” not “Quality-ers”, and as the wise Herm Edwards once said, “We play to win the game!” We certainly don’t play to quality the game.
Saves: Because like it or not Closers Count ™!
Strikeouts: Outs are nice and Kevin Costner once made a nice point about the democracy of ground balls, but this is where we grab our wangs and hoist our marbles before pouring some gas down the lane while a palooka swings and misses.
Earned Run Average: The number one goal is to not allow any runs
Walks + Hits / Innings Pitched (WHIP): Goal number two is to keep people off the bases and work quickly through each inning.
Everyone have a good season, enjoy playing, relish in the domination of others, direct any questions or complaints to me and please stay active. I look forward to crushing each and every one of you with my superior baseball intellect.
Thank You – The Management.
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