The Best Christmas I Ever Done Worked.

The Best Christmas I Ever Done Worked.

Skeets: "They also serve, who only stand and wait. - John Milton"
Booster Gold: "This Stinks." - Booster Gold

Having spent a career in retail and customer service working on Christmas is not a strange or unnatural phenomenon. In fact, this year is the first in a long, long time that I will not be engaging in any form of paid activity within the full 24 hour period. Now I'm certainly in agreement that the entire 24/367 evolution of modern Retail is bullshit and shouldn't be supported in any way, shape or form. I think we all deserve our days off.

BUT...only a Sith deals in absolutes. This is a tale of a different color, so gather round the campfire Old Folks, and walk with me for a spell, Lost Child of Israel. This is the story of the Best Christmas I Ever Worked.

It was the perfect little bit of crisp. Like bacon, only frozen and delicious to the eyes and not the stomach. A little under a half inch of snow had fallen and this Christmas day looked like a postcard from Garrison Keillor. After a quickly perfect morning of perfunctory Christmas duties with the girls I was in my beloved "Lost​" inspired Screenland Plaza 8​ Managers shirt and on my way to work. It wasn't gonna be bad, there were real perks to being the Owner/Boss and I decided to be one of the first to take a metaphorical stab by cancelling evening showtimes and only being open from noon to 5. A quick little blast of memories for everyone and home in time for dinner.

The parking lot even looked perfect. It was the kinda snow you could shovel by jamming the front end of whatever you were using under it and then just running forward and making truck noises like a 5 year old. Everything around the building was scooped and salted in less than half an hour. There was nary a bite to the wind the entire time as Gaia herself sighed across the entire expanse. There's a true beauty hidden in winter, it's like an asshole friend that can be so wonderful sometimes and you have to live somewhere that it usually kicks you in the face to find it.

Another nice thing about being Boss was doing the product right. Today there'd be hot chocolate. And getting to do the schedule meant I was getting two of my favorite employees to split the shift with. Big Baby Squeezus himself, the Wu-Tang Financial of Saint Joseph, MO. Justin Graham​ and a time displaced storyteller, the nightwatch bard of Old Missouri. Dan Donan​ nee Donan Donan.

Even the light that cut in from the windows was just right, the snowblind mixed with the sunshine. Even the crappy customers looks beatific in it that day, the floor was shiny and clean, the concessions all Fresh and Hygenic. Everyone was happy, even if it was the miserable old man that only found happiness in his unhappiness that we knew would be there to complain. Everything was perfectly normal.

We got chinese food, and Squeeze taught us both to dance the forbidden rumba while this Christmas track that I'm about to link to played. You've never seen hips on a bear swing like that as a king otter glides you across the room. You've never worked Christmas on most years and hated it but had a special time when you didn't. In this I have been blessed. In this my cup runneth over.

This year, I ain't gotta work the holiday. So I'm out on that. For you who must, we who are about to dine salute you. To be honest, when the day comes that The Island returns and I can go back and return The Conditions to Glory and bring happiness back to The People than I'll be working it right alongside you again.

But until then dance anyway Senorita, it's Christmas Morning and don't ever let them tell you it ain't bright enough to shine. Merry Christmas and may the Deity of Your Choice Bless Us Everyone.